One of the sexiest, funniest passages in the history of literature, written nearly 2000 years ago

(Excerpt from The Golden Ass by Apuleius, written around 160AD)

"...my darling Fotis was alone in charge. She was preparing the stuffing for some black pudding, ans was mincing the pigs tripes, some of which stood finely shredded on the sideboard, ready for mixing with gravy that tickled my nostrils with its succulently wafted steam...